yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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