I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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