if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
