i permit you to call me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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