More tranny stories later!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
