u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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