I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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