found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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