I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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