I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
