I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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