I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
