first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
