You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
