Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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