I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
