I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i will never coherently bang her
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
