Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
