on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
