Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
