I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Floor bacon is actually really good
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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