Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
