i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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