he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
