You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
