oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize