Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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