he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I didn't notice because vodka
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Damn victory sex feels great
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize