The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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