you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
high people should be assigned attendants
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
