there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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