she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
