Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
