So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
