mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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