You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
