Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
