Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
then he tried to convert me to islam
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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