Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
