He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I need to stop coming to work sober
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
