I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
