Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
