they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize