Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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