oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
