She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.