So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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