Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.