I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his