if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
