are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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