Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
