He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need a beard to bite.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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