yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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