We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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