Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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