i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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