I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
