I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
