every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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