Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
